Things you must know before starting motherhood

When I got news of my pregnancy,II was happy but scared from inside. I do not know whether it was due to the popular pregnancy sickness or the horrible stories of the childbirth or it was the fear of change in lifestyle after a child. But it was never about the postpartum days. And I was missing the most important one. Do not worry, I will not scare you but will surely guide you about what you can expect. I believe knowing well before somehow prepares you mentally. So let’s start by going through my motherhood journey.

Pregnancy

I continued to work till my eighth month of pregnancy for a full-time job and I think it helped me not to stress too much about the health issues of pregnancy. Although many times in the third trimester, I felt exhausted. I did not feel nauseous though I was irritated due to lack of sleep because of frequent urination and the big tummy. Also taking care of what to eat and what not to is not fun with a job.

I went through lots of new things during this period like finding a midwife, preparations for the maternity leave, parental allowance(Elterngeld), and the documents for the child. We also invited our parents to visit so that is another process. Believe me, doing all the above listed things is not easy in Germany considering its bureaucracy.

I did not leave traveling though, checked some beautiful destinations from my bucket list. Explored northern lights in Norway in the third month, Amsterdam in the fourth month and finally Switzerland near the end of the sixth month. The first two trips were very normal although I felt overtired in Switzerland. But traveling was a good distraction from the pregnancy stress. Monthly Gynecologist checkups (only 3 are covered by insurance) helped to assure me that everything was ok. I was expecting a normal delivery. And finally ,when the maternity leave started, it was relaxed physically and mentally. And overall the pregnancy period was good except for the last month.

Our rental contract was expiring during the same period as my delivery. We got to know that we have to leave the current apartment due to some landlord emergency and shift somewhere else. Though we informed our landlord well in advance. This apartment thing affected me a lot mentally before starting motherhood and in the postpartum phase.I was not feeling well during that period worrying about the same. It is not easy to find an apartment in Germany. I am not sure whether the 2 day long Labour was a result of that.

Delivery

I joined the online birth preparation course during pregnancy and I quite liked it. They guide you here through the entire process including the hormones involved, birthing positions , and the signs of Labour. It was knowledgeable though I felt like Labour is an experience in itself and cannot be imagined. Mine was complicated.

It took three days to finally experience the last stage. And the contractions took the hell out of me. I could not sleep for two days due to these. I could not lay down during contractions, they hurt more. So I was sleeping on sofa so that I could stand up during contraction and this went from every 3 hours to every 15 mins near the end. The pain was difficult to bear and it went on for a long period. Moreover, we went to the hospital thrice before the actual delivery due to those  painful contractions.
Then once I was admitted, my cervix was dilating very slowly. And my water didn’t break. Here they wait a lot .Then baby’s heartbeat was going down so they wanted to do baby’s head examination . But it was impossible due to my contractions so they break the amniotic sac then his heartbeat become normal . And my dilation was working faster now. Those three days I cannot forget in my life nor my husband can.I did not know though this was only the beginning

Postpartum as beginning of motherhood

The first two days in the hospital were not too bad. I was happy that everything is over and watching  the little one was beautiful. Moreover getting food on the bed is relaxing. Although I was getting mostly bread and butter. The pain of the stitches was a lot initially. There was difficulty in urination. Moreover I was suffering from constipation that lasted one month. But all this was nothing compared to what was happening to me mentally.

First of all if you are going to become a mother, I would like to tell you some important things. We are not like our older generation where we have seen birth and child care being done at home so knowledge is important.

1.Breast milk can take time to start in your motherhood journey

During the birth of a first child like mine, breast milk can take time to come due to so many reasons. But breasts need to be latched as soon as and as much as possible. Mother and baby take time to learn proper latching. So it is very important that breasts must be pulled strongly either by the baby or by a nurse (nipple stimulation) as early as possible or you can use the pumps. Mine one was not done in the hospital and they did not fed the baby for two days.

Baby was already exhausted from the hard delivery and not feeding him made him insufficient to latch. Normally I have heard that hospitals give formula milk till breast milk starts coming. Here they told me that it is ok not to feed  the baby for two days and just nurse him as much as possible. I made him nurse but the milk did not come for two days and on the third day they provided the pump. This pump I should be getting on the first day and delaying this did not help. 

2. Give formula milk only after nursing

The real  stress began when I landed home and got to know that it is not good to keep the baby hungry so much. As my breast milk was not coming, everybody suggested giving the formula. So I started giving him formula according to the schedule posted on the box. This was my first mistake. I should be giving him the formula milk after nursing only if he feel hungry after that. Also breast milk of 5 ml is sufficient in the initial two three days so do not worry it would increase if you nurse often or if you cannot nurse ,pump at least after every 3 hours in the 24 hour period( 8 times). You can increase the milk supply at a good rate till 12 weeks.

3. Nurse as much as possible

It took a lot of me to really believe that low milk supply is a rare phenomenon. You need to understand that you have to nurse the baby a lot. That was hard to implement for me more mentally. But this is reality. In the initial days nursing every 30 mins or every hour is very important because milk supply is low in each session. And this will help building the supply.You need to forget that there is a schedule in breastfeeding. There is none. Breast milk works on the mechanism of demand and supply.

4. Not pumping

The second mistake I did was not to pump if not nursing . Every time I was giving him formula, I should pump. Even if you breastfeed ,pumping can help increase the supply. One of my friend’’s supply decreased because her baby was not drinking good amount of milk and sleeping a lot through the nurse sessions. And even after suggested by midwife, my mind took hard to accept this fact. I was pumping only twice or thrice so my milk supply was low. Although it is important to pump at least 8 times or sometimes more to build the supply. But you can get the proper schedule from a lactation consultant. My baby drank mostly formula milk in the first 3 months.
But now after gaining knowledge about breastfeeding and lactation and through my own observation, I am pumping a lot nowadays and my breast milk is improving. It is 5th month and I am pumping to increase my supply or at least give him as much breast milk as I can. Although you need to know that the prolactin hormone levels ,responsible for lactation decrease after 3rd month and it is difficult to increase milk supply after that but not impossible.

In the end It is not wrong to give formula milk if you want . But I wanted to give breast milk so this low supply thing created a lot of stress on me . And my supply decreased further. I wrote this article to acknowledge the readers that it is very important to learn about lactation before delivery.

5.Self-care in your motherhood journey

Everybody will say that take care of your health but let me tell you it is difficult. As a mother, you will always prioritize taking care of your baby before you. So it is important that people are around you to take care of your health. There should be people who can say that you are doing good and who can provide you food and medicines on time.That’s why sometimes a person goes in depression. Because there is so much happening with the body and the hormones can affect a lot.

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Checkout my other lifestyle related articles here https://www.theexplorerdiary.com/category/lifestyle-2/